NEAT & SIMPLE LIVING with Ariane Benefit, Organizing Coach

High IQ Is No Help For Those With ADHD who Underachieve

The article below highlights the very real downside of having ADHD in a world that isn't very accepting of people who are different from them.

Not being able to do certain things as others expect us to like: be on time all the time, or get ourselves to follow through on our plans easily, or even get up early in the morning, can cause ADDers (even those with High IQs who do accomplish a lot) to feel like we can never really live up to our "potential." 

In fact, this pervasive sense of underachieving haunts most ADDers constantly.  It is one of the defining traits used to diagnosis ADD.  And, it is a source of profound grief that often leads to chronic depression and anxiety among ADDers. This is partly why ADD is often misdiagnosed and is actually VERY under diagnosed in Adults. (Another reason being the myth that children "outgrow" ADHD.) 

Growing up with undiagnosed ADD in an environment that does not value the gifts of ADD, but focuses instead on punishing and criticizing the differences and our inability to conform to other's values is inherently traumatic.  Years of trying to please parents, teachers and bosses who with good intentions try to "fix" something that can't be fixed easily leaves the individual with an underlying sense of hopelessness and innate "not good enough-ness" that can be paralyzing in and of itself.  

The thing is that ADD can't and never will be "cured" or "fixed".  It is a different kind of brain!  it can only be accomodated, managed and/or minimized with treatments such as education / awareness, right brain - left brain integration strategies, stress reduction, exercise and other self-care strategies, and custom organizing and time management structures / systems / approaches co-designed with the ADDers active participation. And yes, sometimes medication is needed as well.   

In a recently released book called Getting Unstuck: Unraveling the connection between Depression, Attention, and Trauma , the author Dr. Don Kerson, says that being "stuck" is the result of a complex interaction between depression, attention deficit disorder and dissociation (a consequence of childhood trauma caused by living with ADD and the chronic negative feedback that comes with it).

The more I read this book the more I understand why I was so motivated and actually COMPELLED to create my coaching group called Getting Unstuck. Stuckness is a different thing from procrastination and the treatment is much more complex that glib tips like "Just Do it".  The treatment for stuckness is complex.  It includes biological, bio-chemical, environmental and organizational changes as well as exercises to heal and stimulate integration of the right brain and left brain (AKA the Planner and the Doer funtions of the brain as Dr. Kerson points out).

Effective treatment also requires ongoing support and understanding from people who accept you as you are...and who can help you release the shame and pain of years of chronic and constant negative feedback from both others and yourself for not being able to do things the way others do. 

People don't realize it, but years of being told: 

•  you think too much,

• you try too hard...

• you ask too many questions,

• why can't you just do it?  Why can't you just clean your room?  or get out of bed when the alarm goes off?  or follow the instructions I gave you?  or hang up your clothes?  follow that diet program? etc.

and on and on...is in itself traumatic and has profound consequences.  These are negative and painful messages that say "if you need more details than I do in order to act on something, there is something very wrong with you."  To the child and adult hearing those messages over and over again - that means "unloveable" and that has devastating consequences. 

When parents, teachers, friends and bosses say things like that to someone, they don't realize that the recipient hears those messages constantly and from LOTS of people - over and over again - at home, on job performance reviews, even from their doctors!  And it all adds up to magnify the condition of ADD and compound it with very low self-esteem.

I highly recommend Dr. Kerson's book...and in fact, it is now what I consider a foundational theoretical underpinning for my coaching group. Thank you Dr. Kerson for adding a layer of understanding from the field of psychiatry and mental health that I've been working on from an organizational  and educational perspective. Your insights and work are much appreciated!

Getting Unstuck: Unraveling the connection between Depression, Attention, and Trauma

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And Here's the article that inspired me to write this....

Medical News Today
High IQ Is No Help For Those With ADHD, Yale Researchers Find
19 May 2009

Article URL: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/150478.php

Superior intelligence is no defense against the effects of attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, Yale researchers have found.

About three of four ADHD individuals with an IQ of more than 120 - a score that ranks them in the top nine percent of the U.S. population - showed significant impairments in memory and cognitive tests when compared to people with similar IQ's who do not suffer from the disorder, according to the researchers.

The report, to be published in the September print edition of the Journal of Attention Disorders, is now available online.

"Many of these people are told they can't be suffering the loss of executive function (the ability to plan and carry out many day-to-day tasks) from ADHD because they are too smart,'' said Thomas E. Brown, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine and lead author of the study.

The high-IQ, ADHD group lacked self-management skills and the ability to focus. They tended to procrastinate and be forgetful and had difficulty in harnessing their talent to complete many daily tasks, the study found. In fact, 73 percent of the ADHD population showed significant deficits in five or more of the eight measures of executive function.

"Each of these individuals might be compared to a symphony orchestra of very talented musicians who cannot produce adequate symphonic music because the orchestra lacks an effective conductor," the authors wrote.

Philipp C. Reichel and Donald M. Quinlan of Yale are co-authors of the paper.

Source
Yale University

Are you looking for work in this tough economy? Help is here!

I was speaking with my good friend, Jennifer Koretsky, ADHD coach, brilliant blogger and author of "Odd ONE Out:  A Maverick's Guide to Managing Adult ADD" about doing a special session with my Getting Unstuck Group recently and she told me about an excellent and timely program she is putting on for ADDers and others who have lost their jobs or are looking for new jobs in this difficult economy.

The program features three experts in AD/HD AND in career management -- Wilma Fellman, Paul Copcutt, and Ari Tuckman -- who will provide practical advice to help you find and keep the perfect job while reducing stress and anxiety.  If you are looking for work, you don't want to miss this great webinar!

Learn more here

p.s.

A couple career tips from me:

If you are changing fields, or afraid you are over-qualified for jobs you are applying for, consider creating multiple versions of your resume and LEAVE OFF the items you fear will keep employers from calling you for an interview. 

Remember, you only have to put enough on your resume to get them to want to call you for the interview. 

Concerned about your age?  Leave off information that dates you!  e.g. you don't have to put graduation dates on your diplomas.  You also don't HAVE to give more than 5-10 years of job history on your resume. It's against the law to discriminate based on age anyway.

If they ask you about it in the interview, you can just say that you didn't think your older work history was relevant.

Wishing you all the best,

 

Thom Hartmann’s Hunter and Farmer Approach to ADD/ADHD

Below is an excellent post describing how ADD looks if you think of it as a "disorder"  VS.  How ADHD traits look with a positive "filter" which Hartmann describes as the "Hunter" view.

His theory is that ADD is a set of traits that were naturally selected for during evolution - ADDers made EXCELENT hunters and were HIGHLY VALUED FOR their traits.  In a society that runs on a time basis...these traits are more uncommon and therefore called a "disorder"  because we don't "naturally" fit in to the "standard" ways of doing things.  By definition we are uncommon - about 6 - 10% of the population. 

 For example, perhaps we aren't good at sitting still all day in schools and offices.  But for some environments...like professions requiring "diagnosis" or creative problem solving our natural traits / strengths are PERFECTLY suited and often valued.

Check out this interesting list! 

http://www.thomhartmann.com/2007/11/01/thom-hartmanns-hunter-and-farmer-approach-to-addadhd/

Here's another neat blog based on his work...  Hunter in a Farmer’s World  An ADHD Life

 

Ariane

Reader Asks: How do you Manage Documents, Projects, Tasks and Folders using your Computer?

In response to my post on Managing Multiple Priorities using Project Folders on my Computer (Windows XP) a reader, Layla, asked some great questions and I wanted to share my response with you...so here goes.

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Question 1

How do you assign stuff to folders, that could be in 2 or 3 different folders? (save 3 times, or just in one - which one?:)

 

Answer

My answer has many layers.  If it's a small file and relates to two or more book projects I'm working on, I might actually copy it twice...and clean it up when I'm done

If it's a larger file, I put the original doc in one folder and put shortcuts to the file in the other relevant folders.

If it's not that important a file, I put all the keywords I might search on in the title of the file and put it in one folder.  Then I use "Search" to find it later! 

 

Question 2

Also, do you have a section for 'Archives', or similar? And separate for 'Action files'?

 

Answer

Yes - I have an "Archives" section for my important old projects and they are backed up on my webhost and on DVDs.  I also use my webhost to back up any important files I'm working on.  I just created a folder called BACKUP-Projects on my webhost.  (I use Dreamweaver for web development and it has an FTP program built in.  You can also use any FTP program like Smart FTP  or FileZilla, etc.

I don't have a separate section on my computer labeled "Action Files" because most all of them are working files.

My "currently active"  and "frequently used" folders are linked to on my Quick Launch Bar....I have a 28 inch monitor and a 22 inch monitor sided by side so I have my TASK / QUICK LAUNCH Bar on the right of my larger monitor.

MP3s I want to listen or downloads to read are grouped on on my desktop - when I'm done I "file" them.  So I guess you could say my desktop is for individual files I need to do something with. 

Here is a screenshot of my desktop so you can see what my taskbar looks like... you can click it to see it larger.  On the left are shortcuts to software, top are my remote desktop connections for taking over other computers in our home.  In the middle are files I need to read or listen too.  Also, some are text files I use for "reference"  like design conventions for my website (html color codes, etc.)  and when I have to close my browser and want to come back to a website, instead of bookmarking it I drag it to my desktop...look at it later and then if I really want to keep it I usually file the shortcut in the project folder it relates to.

 

Hope you find something in this article that you can actually use!

 

If you like this tip, you'll LOVE being part of my online virtual organizing and coaching group called Getting Unstuck!  

On the website, we have several ongoing neat virtual interactive group "workshops" happening simultaneously!  Most of them feature audio recordings of classes and/or group coaching sessions along with e-books, powerpoint presentations, discussion forums and more!   Not only do you get learning resources, you get to ask questions and share your photos for personal coaching!   You can now join for just $67 for the first month and then $47 for two additional months.

Currently active workshops within the coaching group include:

• Take Charge of your Finances - (The third call in this series is tomorrow!)
• Organizing Your Paper
• Organizing Your Office
• Overcoming Healthy Eating Challenges
• Organizing Using Your Computer
• Cleaning your home Quick & Easy ( ADD-friendly ways to simplify cleaning)
• Understanding ADD

More are on the way!

Click here: Getting Unstuck: virtual organizing and coaching group  to learn more!

 

My Top 10 Tips for Clutter-Free Living

Can you really ever be clutter-free? Well, probably not. I mean, who has time to obsess constantly about whether or not there is clutter somewhere in your house? We all have some clutter, after all, we are human!  I have found there is a certain degree of "clutter" or mess that just doesn't bother me. It's more important to me to live than to make sure I'm tidy all the time.  Things don't interfere with my life unless they are in my way of using my space and getting important things done.  Having containers full of memorabilia in my attic is not a nuisance unless I can't walk around in my attic. The important thig is that I have strategies will keep things in balance and not let it get overwhelming.

According to Merriam-Webster, to clutter is:

"to fill or cover with scattered or disordered things
 that impede movement or reduce effectiveness."

If you have clutter that keeps getting in your way, and significantly impedes your ability to be effective, or to have company in your home, it's time to get serious about letting go.  But doing it all at once is not always an option, nor is it recommended. There is a grieving process we go through as we let go of things...and letting go of too much too fast could be overwhelming.  If we get overwhelmed, we'll avoid letting go in the future, so better to do it chunks that we can feel good about, no?

So here are my Top 10 strategies and habits that much make it much easier to "maintain" a reasonable amount of clutter and prevent accumulating more.  I hope you find them helpful! 

1. Make an art form out of donating! I keep a DONATE bag in my bedroom and a DONATE bin in my basement. When I wear something and decide I no longer like it, in the bag it goes. When I go in a drawer and realize I have a shirt I haven't worn in forever and never will again, in the bag it goes. When I buy a new shirt and need room to put it away, I pick one to go. Same type of strategy goes elsewhere in the house. I regularly scan for things to bring to the basement donate bin. To make the whole system work, I have a regularly scheduled pickup from the Vietnam Vets of America http://www.vva.org/ and my goal is to fill up at least one bag or box. Every 2 weeks during the summer and as needed in the winter, I put out our donations of clothing and household goods just like we put out our recycling. You might think I would eventually run out of stuff and my house would be empty. But trust me, that will never happen. This strategy helps us maintain a balance between incoming and outgoing so I don't drown in clutter like I used to.

2. Purge the Fridge weekly. Every week before we grocery shop, we scan the fridge for what to get rid of so we can put everything away when we get back. The funny thing is, because we do this, we always know what we have and almost never have to throw anything away.

3. Don't watch commercials on TV. Seriously, since we got our DVR, I never watch commercials, and so I save a lot of time, I'm less stressed and less tempted to impulse buy -- or impulse eat for that matter. I can watch American Idol in about 20 minutes!

4. Don't shop or look at catalogs unless you are looking for something specific. This was not easy to do at first, but it has gotten much easier to throw those I don't need for work right into the recycle bin. I used to be quite the gadget junkie. Window shopping and looking through catalogs for the latest new stuff was "fun" for me. Not actively looking for stuff to buy has made a huge difference in my life. The money saved has helped me stay out of debt for over 10 years. The time saved is much better used doing stuff like writing this article. I got off the junk mail lists and when a catalog or sales ads come to my home I AUTOMATICALLY put them directly in the recycle bin.  This used to be really difficult, but now I don't even think twice.  I love the freedom it gives me!

5. Don't buy anything unless you know exactly what you plan to do with it and where it will live. Nothing comes into the house without a home to go to. It's amazing how this works. Whereas before we would get items home and then agonize about where to put it and end up regretting buying it when we can't find a home, we now do all that agonizing in the store. And voila! The items we can't think of homes for never make it out of the store and we don't have to deal with the clutter!

6. NO more Freebies!!! Being a recovering "infomaniac" I used to go to events and make sure I got every freebie being given out.  It was something I never questioned. Free? Of course I'll take one! But no more. Once I finally let go of all that stuff that had accumulated around my house, I was determined not to let it pile up again. So I was very proud that at a NAPO Conference, I did not bring home the little votive candles and other little trinkets being handed out. I already have a drawer full of candles I don't use often. I only brought home freebies I can really use. What a difference!

7. Put Paper Recycling bins on every floor. If your home has 2 or 3 floors, or even if your office is far from your kitchen, you need more than one bin for recycling. I keep a paper grocery bag under my desk. Now I never have an excuse to hold on to paper I don't need. When going through the mail, I often get things that are "interesting." I used to keep them and let them pile up. But now, I say to myself, "I was fine before this arrived in my hand. If they hadn't gotten hold of my address I wouldn't have it. I didn't ask for it, therefore I can let it go. If I still remember it tomorrow or next week, I can dig it out of the recycling bin. If not, I didn't need it anyway!"

8. Move anything you don't use often to long term storage so it's not in your way. Anything we don't use often gets moved out of our living space to the attic, basement or garage. In our basement, we have a closet for linens that aren't being used, like for blankets during the winter. If we don't use them 2 years in a row, to the donation bin they go. Our garage is off the kitchen, so we moved quite a few of the appliances we only use occasionally like fondue pots and waffle irons, out to the garage.

9. Trust that you will always be able to get what you need somehow. In many ways trust is the opposite of fear. When you trust that you will be able to get what you need, you can let go of the fear of running out or of not having enough, then you won't need to stockpile as much. If you trust that you will probably always have money for the things you really need and that you will be able to find things on sale again, you can more easily resist buying everything on sale just because you "might never see prices that low again." Everything goes on sale on a regular basis. If you watch, you will see that just about ever 4-6 weeks paper towels are half price. So, buy a 12 pack if you know you will use them and you have plenty of space to store them, but don't buy 5 12-paks. They will very likely go on sale again before you use up 60 rolls! At least I hope you aren't using THAT many paper towels. If you are you can save a fortune investing in some great cotton kitchen towels!

10. Give everything a home where it's not in your way, and where you can find it when you need it. This is nothing new, my grandmother always said "There's a place for everything and everything in its place"  I never quite understood how to do that when I was a kid, and it used to annoy the heck out me.  But now I get it. What is new for us today, is the sheer volume of things we need to give homes to. Like that extra recycling bin for all that junk mail, or a place for the remotes, the cell phone, etc.  My grandmother never had to deal with these things. But if you simplify your life and use tips 1-9 regularly, you will have hopefully fewer things that you need to find homes for!

Hope these tips help you!

Simplifying Your Life - Free Class on Wednesday!

Just a reminder that I'm giving a free teleclass on ADDClasses.com this coming Wednesday!

Here are the details:

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TITLE: Simplifying Your Life:  Strategies that Work for ADHD 


(and work for anyone with "ADD-Like Traits" or a Creative Personality Type)

DATE: Wednesday, February 18, 2009

TIME: 2:00 PM Eastern Standard Time

_____________________________

Tara McGillicuddy, is also giving a free class

TITLE: Is it Really about Time?

DATE: Tuesday February 24, 2009

TIME: 9:00 pm EST

_________________________________

The classes are free, but you do have to
signup for AddClasses.com by clicking here

Hope to see you there!

You're Invited to a FREE Q & A Conference Call with Me on Friday 2/13!

This month, on the Neat & Simple Living Radio Show, Ellen Shapiro, Bernadette Armiento and I are talking about "getting unstuck" in all the areas of our lives. 

You get to call in and tell us what's making you feel "stuck", whether it's about money, filing tax returns, organizing, clutter, eating healthy, exercising, business projects, financial matters, procrastination, perfectionism, whatever!

Don't miss this opportunity to discuss your challenges and get ideas from three coaches at once! A truly holistic approach to address the obstacles to your success.

MARK YOUR CALENDAR!

Date / Time: 2/13/2009 1:00 PM EASTERN

This event will be simulcast. You can listen over the web on Blog Talk Radio

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/neatandsimpleliving

OR

You call in and join the discussion!

DIAL IN:  (712) 432-0600

Access Code: 285167#


We look forward to seeing you on Friday!

Ariane, Ellen & Bernadette

Simplifying Your Life: Strategies that Work - FREE CLASS!

I'm so excited!  I've been a big fan of ADDClasses.com for a long time.  And now I'm going to be an instructor there!  I'll be giving a FREE one hour teleclass, so mark your calendar!

Here are the details:

TITLE: Simplifying Your Life:  Strategies that Work for People with ADHD 
(and anyone with "ADD-Like Traits" or a Creative Personality Type)

DATE: Feb. 18

TIME: 2:00 PM Eastern Standard Time

There will also be a handout, so don't miss this!

The class is free, but you do have to signup for AddClasses.com by clicking here

p.s. I gave a 2 hour version of this class to my Getting Unstuck Coaching Group this past Thursday and people really loved it!  Here are a few of the comments I got after the class:

"the slides were a great reference point and later memory aid. lots to think about and try out. thanks."

"these calls are such a source of energy for me and I am trying to build in a block of time right after for taking action."

"I have gained so much in just the few weeks that we have been doing the calls... You doing such a wonderful thing with the calls The program is wonderful, filled with extremely helpful information.   Thanks for everything that you are doing for us!!!"

"This is good information. Your "class" and "sharings" today are wonderful. Thanks."

"Excellent info. thanks..."

(BY THE WAY: It's not too late to join!  You will get to listen to the past month's worth of recordings, download the 39 page version of the handout, PLUS get 3 additional months of classes and coaching calls with me.  but that's not all, you also get my office and paper organizing books AND Suzanne Babb's ebooks!  Learn More Here)

Don't forget to mark the date in your Calendar! 
   

See you there!